I was have a tendency to laughing at inappropriate time. I*m the one gigling at a funeral or finding the funny in death. I am the type who tries to makes light of the dark, not because I don’t believe it to be dark, but purely because I can’t see. The laughter helps light the way.
It’s that old saying, if I don’t laugh, i ll be crying
So i have to laugh.
Sometimes at the frustration of my child. Sometimes she says something so absurd my automatic response is laughter. Sometimes she says something so shocking, so horrid, it’s my response as well. She hates it; yells at me, screams at me “STOP laughing at me”. Which of course generally only serves to increase the giggles. And to infuriate her further.
I don’t mean to be mean. I don’t mean to be callous or unthoughtful. But I get how it comes across like that. I can understand how frustrating it would be. I try not to. But it’s one of those things, generally the more you try to swallow it, the more you laugh.
Sometimes people don’t know how to take it. I am sure they think “why is this crazy lady laughing about this? It’s really not a laughing matter”. In fact I know they do. They tell me they won’t minute the giggles or my lame attempts at jokes into the notes. Which is kind of them.
Because some days, if I don’t laugh, I will crying
